One of my running theories recently has been that no one is actually a fan. Sure, fans exist. Over 100,000 people show up in Columbus on Saturdays to watch decent high school football. But the true FAN is a dying breed. My grandmother was a Braves fan and Fightin' Texas Aggie fan. She watched every game, knew every player (on a first name basis, of course) and knew every stat conceivable.

She passed her love of sports on to me but I, in no way, inherited her zealous loyalty to any particular team. In my closet right now, I have coaching shirts for three collegiate sports programs. That's not t-shirts - everybody's got t-shirts. That's approaching $200 worth of merch for three different schools. Now, in my defense, these teams almost never play each other and have no reason to have any animosity toward each other. I don't have a Florida and Georgia shirt hanging next to each other.

The point is this: sports, especially collegiate sports, have become totally bastardized. You've seen the "House Divided" bumper stickers. Who the hell actually let's one kid go to Texas Tech when the other is going to Texas - and why does that even deserve "House Divided" recognition. Nothing's divided; there's just a set of parents in that car who are worried about one kid coming home with only a 3.7 and worried about the other coming home with herpes.

So let's all commit to making the world a better place by declaring our allegiances and then standing by those allegiances without regard for our own well being or that of the people around us. That's called evolution, son.